Adoption is an Evil

And sometimes a necessary evil, but we should never forget that it is an evil.

The reason I write adoption is an evil is because it lacks the perfection found in the natural relation of child and parents.

Adoption is a substitute for that natural relation, and as is common to any substitute it lacks the form proper to that which it is a substitute of. The reason this distinction is important is because modern society has lost sight of nature and in turn has lost sight of the proper ordering of man and thus in turn the proper ordering of society. A loss of sight that has consequences. Often harmful consequences.

I occasionally come across articles of financially stable Catholics reaching out to mothers in distress, but as opposed to helping these mothers by taking away the cause of their distress, these financially stable Catholics instead act like interlopers using their wealth as a wedge to separate the mother from her baby offering to take the mother's baby from her.

They speak of love and caring, but only on their terms. Terms which are unnatural and disordered. Term befitting our materialist, consumerist society of personal gratification.

Subsidiarity and the natural good of children being raised by their own parents is cast aside.

What pushed me to write this post was an article in the local FSSP parish weekly bulletin of a family looking for a woman in severe enough distress that one of her children could be pried away from her, hopefully a child under 2 years old. And when I went to the web page listed in the bulletin there was a fund raiser for $20,000 to make it possible for the family to adopt the baby!!!! How can people be that blind? But they are. The thought of helping the mother in distress was not even a consideration. And all the comments were how wonderful the family was, when they are nothing of the kind, but only people buying a child by means of preying on a mother's misery that is so intense she sees no way out but giving away one of her children. Not to mention ripping that child away from it's mother. The evil of it is amazing. But yet it appeared in my own parish bulletin. And yes, the family wanting to adopt the baby is very nice looking because that shallow image is what is more important than a child being with its own mother.

Do those who so callously buy other women's children really love their own children so little, or are they so incapable of empathy, that they cannot see what they are doing?

Or let us look at the prolife movement with its mantra of "adoption not abortion". As opposed to helping young mothers keep their babies, the prolife movement pushes silently the concept that the babies are better off without their own mother because a family of strangers with more money, or in some other way looking more perfect is better for the baby. The natural good of the baby and the mother is pushed aside in preference of the unnatural american ideal of pretty family.

Some background:

I don't usually discuss personal matters online and will leave out the personal story that most influenced my view on the subject. But I do have others as well.

Such as my brother was given away for adoption to Catholic Social Services. Our parents weren't married and our father was in law school when our mother became pregnant, and so they did what was expected. Our parents almost immediately regretted their decision, they didn't want to give my brother away in the first place, but they didn't see they had a choice. Our parents went back to Catholic Social Services the next day to try to get him back, but were denied their baby. Rules are rules and the natural good of a child to be raised by his own parents was pushed aside. We did finally meet our brother about 10 years ago, and what stood out most of all was how all his mannerisms, and inclinations and similar were exactly like the rest of his siblings. Blood matters, and is especially visible when both parents are the same.

My mother was raised by her aunt that she thought was her mother. Her true mother became pregnant outside of marriage and so my mother's true mother's sister took her in and raised her with her true mother being there to love her as only a mother can.

My cousin likewise became pregnant outside of marriage. My aunt had a surprise birth and my cousin raised her daughter at home.

The solution of my mother being raised by an aunt, or that of my cousin is how problem pregnancies used to be taken care of avoiding both scandal as well as allowing the true mother to care for her child as God intended. They were a natural holistic solution grounded in the natural order as opposed to the modern solution grounded in commerce and money.

More to come.